Nic, Bupkis and Nichevo

About Nothing, by Nothing, with German-flavored cleavage occasionally thrown in for local color.

Location: Indianapolis, Indiana

You can email me at NicBupkusNichevo at aol dot com. Aren't you excited?

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Dirndls and other skinny subjects

I'm celebrating the latest step in my weight loss (I'm down to 210# from 235#) by wearing my favorite dirndl today. I have two, both size 16. It's a very snug fit, but I seem to be managing rather well. Because of the way these things are cut across the bosom, however, let's just say that June is busting out all over. Major spillage. Thank the gods I'm wearing a turtleneck under this thing or we'd all be really embarrassed. Of course, Himself always loved it when I wore snug turtlenecks, because they just made my chest look even bigger. I'm up to a DDD, trembling on the verge of a G thanks to an apparent second round of puberty (and every time I gain weight it goes to my chest, but unlike most women when I lose weight it doesn't leave my chest but just settles in for the duration).

One of my coworkers has announced that I looked very festive and European, very German. I pointed out that given my paternal family background it's appropriate (we've been here since the Revolution, but folks fresh off the boat have been marrying in every generation up to WWI). So now my name today is "Heidi" and I'm supposed to sing "Edelweiss" on demand. :/ You really, really don't want me to sing. If one of our employees who is a man of color decided to wear a dashiki, do you think they'd call him Kunta Kinte and insist he sing "The Lion sleeps Tonight"? Yeesh.


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